Stranger Danger

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

The issue of Stranger Danger is complex and goes beyond just “not talking to strangers.” Threats sometimes involve people the children know, and occasionally they may need to seek help from an unknown person (like a police officer, firefighter, etc) or refuge in an unknown location (a store, a library, if they feel somebody is following them). This article delves a little deeper into these issues as they relate to the topic of “stranger danger”.

———-
from childandfamilymentalhealth.com
———-

Every parent’s number one responsibility is to keep their child safe. Since pictures of missing children began to first appear on milk containers in the 1980’s, parents have responded by teaching their children about “stranger danger.” Many children are instructed from a very early age not to talk to strangers. Yet the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC), whose photos of lost children appear on milk containers, believes that this message is both insufficient and counterproductive in keeping children safe. NCMEC and other child safety professionals do not support the message of “stranger danger” for the following reasons:

1. The vast majority of incidents involve children harmed or taken by someone they know well – a parent, step-parent, other relative, babysitter, or family friend. According to statistics collected by the U.S. Department of Justice, only about 100 cases a year nationally follow the injurious “stereotypical” abduction that the stranger danger message is meant to prevent. Telling children to not interact with strangers does not eliminate the cause of most of the harm.

2. Studies show that young children do not understand what a stranger is. When asked, they will identify a stranger as someone who is “mean” or “ugly.” A nice, attractive person is not seen as a stranger in their eyes.

3. Adults talk to strangers all the time – a salesperson, friendly person on the bus, a new neighbor. This makes “stranger danger” even more confusing for children.

4. Being afraid of all strangers creates unnecessary fear, and can contribute to nightmares, anxiety and unhappiness in children.

5. Nancy A. McBride, NCMEC National Safety Director, says that “When we tell children to ‘never talk to strangers,’ we have effectively eliminated a key source of help for them.” If a child really is in danger, they need to know how to engage strangers to assist them, be a police officer or other uniformed person, a shopkeeper or neighbor.

What are other messages that parents can give their children that will keep them even safer? Here are a few ideas:

1. Some parents tell their children not to go anywhere with someone they don’t know. This more accurately addresses safety concerns, and is easier to follow than the “no talking” rule.

2. Children can be empowered with safety skills so that they will learn what to do in a dangerous situation. They can be taught to approach a person in a uniform, such as a police officer or firefighter, when they feel that someone is bothering them. They can also speak to store clerks, other parents, or other people who are available to help them.

3. Children’s Eye Media, a British educational organization, has a campaign, “Safer Strangers, Safer Buildings.” Children are encouraged to think about who they would approach if they were lost and in trouble, as well as what buildings to enter, such as a store or library, where they might get help.

The key is to have a dialogue with your child that builds their sense of competence and awareness. Children at different ages will learn to cope with different scenarios. For example, a young child can be taught to stay where there are if they are lost in a store, and wait for their parent to find them. An elementary school child can be encouraged to know their parents cell phone number, and know how to get help in placing a call. A middle or high school child who takes a bus or walks home from school can learn to get help from a shopkeeper or neighbor if they think someone is following them.

By coming up with age-appropriate messages that are tailor-made to the specific child and the situations they may face, parents can provide their children with tools that can keep them safe.

Not a full video, but the available segment is full of great information for keeping your kids safe!

–from www.wndu.com–

NewsCenter16 teamed up with the United Way and local law enforcement to showcase the dangers posed to children by strangers.

This Public Service Announcement from the early 60s is titled “The Child Molester”. The audio quality could be better, but overall this is an informative piece.

In the panic of the moment, it may sometimes be unclear on what the proper steps to take are. Naturally, the thought that comes to mind is to call the police, and that is indeed the proper first step, but there are further courses of action parents can take. Here is a list of a few things to do immediately from the Klaas Foundation, followed by a link to the organization’s website (the Klaas Foundation is a public charity devoted to preventing crimes against children, assisting in the recovery of missing children, and lobbying for legislative assistance). Here parents can find a treasure trove of information regarding What To Do…

Checklist:

Immediately call (911) and all other local law enforcement agencies: Do not stop after you have called 911. Depending on your circumstances, contact your local Police Department, County Sheriff, State Police or Highway Patrol, law enforcement in surrounding jurisdictions and the Border Patrol if applicable. Remember, there is no 24 or 48-hour waiting period. If you meet resistance demand to speak to the watch commander and insist that they take a report and enter the information into the National Crime Information Computer (NCIC) at once.

Notify the Federal Bureau of Investigation: If you suspect a predatory abduction. The FBI will initiate a kidnapping investigation involving a missing child of tender years, defined as a child twelve years or younger, even though there is no known interstate aspect. The FBI will monitor other kidnapping situations when there is no evidence of interstate travel, and it offers assistance from various entities including the FBI Laboratory. They have written protocols, dedicated agents, unsurpassed resources and vast experience in this specialized investigative field.

Log onto or refer the responding law enforcement agency to www.beyondmissing.com: This revolutionary Website allows registered law enforcement agencies to immediately create and distribute missing flyers to other targeted law enforcement agencies using powerful Internet tools. Parents can also create, download and print flyers for duplication, but not database or electronically distribute missing flyers. There is no cost for either service.

Notify all local media assignment desks: The sooner television and radio begin notifying the community that a child has been kidnapped, the better the chances of recovery. It’s as simple as that.

Notify your local non-profit Child Locator Service: They can provide an array of services pertinent to your situation. Child Locator Services exist to assist in the recovery of missing children. Do not overlook this important resource.

If you believe that your child has been kidnapped: Contact the National Center For Missing and Exploited Children at 1-800-THE-LOST.

If you believe that your child has been kidnapped: Contact Team H.O.P.E., a parent support network for families with missing children. Team H.O.P.E. volunteer parents have experienced the agony of searching for their own children. They provide practical and emotional support for parents whose children are victims of predatory kidnapping, parental abduction, international abduction, adult missing and runaways and can be reached at 1-800-306-6311.

If you believe that your child has run away: Contact the National Runaway Switchboard www.1800runaway.org at 1-800-786 2929.

Keep your home phone attended by someone your child knows: Install Caller ID if you do not already have that service and record conversations. This may be the only way your child knows how to reach you.

Take care to preserve your physical and emotional welfare: Friends, neighbors and even total strangers will be working toward a successful resolution, but you must remember to eat and sleep regularly. This will be the most daunting and difficult journey that you will ever take and you will need sobriety, presence of mind and good judgment if it is to be successful. Seek emotional and psychological support from your church, a social service agency or even a professional counselor with experience in your type of situation. Remember that you alone are leading the battle for the return of your missing child.

Remember – Never Give Up Hope! As long as you believe, hope remains eternal.

————–

for extensive information:

http://www.klaaskids.org/pg-missingchildren.htm

A break from the usual posts this week — The fairly new musical genre known as “dubstep” is a favorite among some of our instructors and students here at Chi’s Martial Arts in Lindenhurst. The overwhelming bass lines and reverberant drum patterns make for great background music during high-intensity training sessions and workouts. One of the best-known artists of the dubstep genre is Skrillex, and the music video for his song “First of the Year (Equinox)” is an interesting take on the issue of Stranger Danger. The music is not exactly something you can whistle on the way to work, and might not be your cup of tea, but watch till the end and you may find yourself experiencing a rather dark satisfaction…

Enjoy, and don’t forget to call to schedule a class today!
631-957-1882

A classic Public Service Announcement about the danger strangers pose to your children. Please excuse the quality of the transfer, which has resulted in the occasional momentary skip.

–from choresandchecklists.com–

What on earth are stranger danger scenarios? Well, did you know it’s up to you to prepare your child to make smart judgements about the people in his or her life? Did you know that keeping your child safe from predation isn’t up to chance? You can arm your child against predators by practicing stranger danger scenarios.

By the way, most sexual abuse isn’t perpetrated by actual “strangers” but rather a known individual. The common wisdom of “don’t talk to strangers” is not only foolish, but downright illogical in many situations. Gavin de Becker’s Protecting the Gift illustrates this point and it’s a must-read for all parents. For the purpose of this article, I’ll use the word “stranger,” but remember that these scenarios can and should include people in all parts of your child’s life, teachers, mentors, neighbors, friends and even family members.

So how can we as parents protect our kids? By teaching them to recognize behavior that is inappropriate or abnormal. Use these stranger danger scenarios to begin a dialogue with your child today.

If your child has difficulty identifying abnormal behavior, use these guidelines for identifying red flag behavior: any time anyone tries to get you

• alone or away from other people or away from your parents or
• to keep a secret from your parents

this is NOT normal behavior! Kenneth Wooden’s Child Luresoutlines eight common strategies that known sexual predators have utilized on children. Read this book to be informed and teach your kids.

Often, though, scenarios that can lead to victimization aren’t clear cut and require your child’s judgement. Here are some examples:

Stranger Danger Scenarios

You’re at the swimming pool with your friends and you see a man with a camera taking pictures.

Is this normal? Maybe… Ask your child to add something to this story that would make it normal (he’s taking pictures of his family; he’s talking to them; he has a suit on). Challenge your child to add something to the story that would make it clearly abnormal (he appears to not be with anyone; he’s in the back taking pictures of the whole pool or of different subjects; he’s not dressed to swim). These open ended questions encourage kids to think.

You’re waking home from school and a man says ”hello.”

Is this normal? Maybe… Again challenge your child to add something to this story that would make it normal (he keeps on going after greeting you) Ask your child to add something to the story that would make it abnormal (abnormal behavior might include: he stops and tries to engage you in further conversation; he encourages you to stray from your path home; he offers you something or an invitation).

We’re in a small store and the clerk approaches you and offers you some candy.

Is this normal? Maybe. What would make it undoubtedly normal? (He asks your mom if it’s okay, he gives the candy to your mom, he somehow involves the parent). Abnormal behavior might be if he tries to get the child in a private place (“I have the candy in my office, come back here…”) or if he encourages the child to keep a secret from you.

Focus on behavior specific stranger danger and talk about examples any time you can. Create your own scenarios and discuss child safety frequently. This encourages kids to articulate normal and strange behavior so they can cultivate their own judgement and instincts.

One last thing: stop using the word “secret” in your everyday normal language. Predators use that word. It means not telling something ever. In our culture we tend to use the word rather lightly, as in, “don’t tell Mom what we’re giving her for her birthday; it’s a secret! Actually what it is is a surprise. A surprise is usually what we mean when we use the word secret: something that we’re not revealing right now, but that we will. So treat the word secret with the weight it deserves, so that kids recognize that sometimes it’s a red flag.

Red Flag Behavior

Remember the two major warning signs a child should identify when interacting with a stranger: The person tries to get your child alone or the person encourages your child to keep a secret from his family
It is critical that your child be able to identify those two points because they are absolutely abnormal. Even if no inappropriate behavior takes place, a person using one or both of those “red flag behaviors” is clearly trying to establish a relationship that might lead to abuse.

Practice these stranger danger scenarios with your kids to practice looking for abnormal behavior. Encourage your child to think critically and to evaluate situations. Their judgement will be what might prevent them becoming a victim.

From Youtube